I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
A bitchslap is in order.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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