Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
