i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
