rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize