I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize