Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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