Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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