Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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