Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
