if you like me you must not know who I am
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize