Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
