I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
