if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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