Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
