You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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