"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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