If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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