Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
