check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
