Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
