yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
