just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize