It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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