Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
