Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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