I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
