oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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