I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
