Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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