Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
birth control should be required to get into college
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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