Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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