I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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