considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
