its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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