new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
