Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Alive.
So much puke
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
