well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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