You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
accomplished twins. life is a go
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize