if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
