last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
