dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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