am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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