HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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