So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
