There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
