I bet he comes in French.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
