Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
