i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize