So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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