Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize