why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
