Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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