If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
