I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
