Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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