Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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