im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
