38 yer olds are good kisserssss
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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