My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
