totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
