I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
