I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
