butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
