doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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