I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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