Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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