You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
