Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
