I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
