Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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