i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
