ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
