Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And then he peed in my hair
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