im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
