So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
