I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The uberlube is also flammable
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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